She'll Be Coming Down the Mountain...

Skiing was an interesting experience and I definitely displayed my full emotional range: fear, frustration, anger, tears, hysteria, satisfaction, elation, jubilation and exhaustion.

When we arrived in Les Menuires we discovered that the snow conditions were the worst they’d had in years.  There hadn’t been any significant snowfall since January so all the runs in the area were all ice in the morning and slush in the afternoon, just the worst conditions to learn in as everyone kept reassuring me. 

I was very pleased to find that there were two other complete beginners in the chalet (Sophie and Taj, two doctors from London) so we decided to stick together in ski school.  Our ski instructor Xavier was fantastic – friendly, patient and really good at building our confidence. 

After two days of falling over in the safety of the ski school ‘compound’ we were then taken out on the piste.  Unfortunately the run that we had to take every morning to get to the lifts was horrendous – ridiculously busy, horribly steep and extremely icy.  I cried pretty much the whole way down it, despite the best efforts of the lovely Xavier to fill me with confidence.  

Then on Wednesday afternoon all the snow arrived at once with whiteout conditions which were awful.  John tried to take me on a supposedly easy green run which turned out to be anything but – it was steep, fast and scary and the fact that the snow was falling heavily made the visibility practically non-existent.  I was tired, scared and frustrated and was convinced I just couldn’t do it.  I crashed and fell again and again and got more and more upset until I ended up having a full on panic attack – how John managed to stay so patient with me I really don’t know, the man must be a saint!  Somehow we managed to get down the mountain in one piece (more or less, despite some spectacular falls on my part) and without John being driven to murder.

Thursday was another day of appalling visibility and heavy snow.  By this point I'd really had enough, I spat my dummy and walked off the mountain during ski school because I was tired and terrified and couldn't see 10m ahead of me.  I spent Thursday afternoon feeling very miserable and sorry for myself, convinced that I was a useless lump. 

Everything changed on Friday morning though when we awoke to find that at last we had the conditions that everyone had kept telling me were what made it all worthwhile - fresh snow, sunshine and blue skies.  Everything finally came together and I 'got it' and I enjoyed my last day very much indeed - proper skiing down blue runs without falling over!  I could finally understand why people enjoy sticking their feet in those horrible boots, strapping planks to their feet and throwing themselves down a mountain!

Staying in a chalet proved to be a good move.  There were 16 of us, a real mix of people and ages ranging from 26 - 63 but we just got on brilliantly and it really made the holiday.  Having Sophie and Taj to go skiing with was really great and we managed to have a lot of fun falling over together.

Everyone in the chalet fell in love with John and kept telling me how lucky I was, how he was the kindest and most patient man as well as being clever and fun, and how I mustn't let him go as he's a real keeper!  Yep, I know this already folks!

All in all I found the holiday to be much more of a challenge than I’d ever expected.  As someone with no sporting prowess and a genuine fear of heights, skiing really pushed me so hard and so far that I feel proud of myself for keeping on going and not giving up completely.  I guess sometimes it's good for us to do something that really pushes us way out of the old comfort zone.  I’ll definitely be going skiing next year and I'm going to try to get to Chill Factore every couple of months so that I can keep practicing - use it, don't lose it!

Q: What Goes ‘Aaaarrrggghhh, Bump, Bump, Bump,Ouch’?

A: Tuppence on a ski slope.

Learning to ski has never been a burning ambition on my list of stuff to do before I’m past it.  To me, skiing always looked like an elite, expensive and dangerous sport for people with more money than sense.

I have to admit that some of the ski holiday trimmings did look quite appealing – après-ski, cosy chalets, snow and sunshine, vin chaud, hot chocolate – but the thought of strapping two planks to my feet and hurtling down a mountain at speed wasn’t exactly something that floated my boat.  I figured that for me, someone with a fear of heights and an even greater fear of falling from them and who is not blessed with athletic prowess and co-ordination, the skiing experience would involve ending up cold, wet and with broken bones.

I had managed to get to the grand age of 37 without any notion of going on a skiing holiday entering my mind.  However all that was about to change. 

John loves skiing.  He first floated the idea of a skiing holiday when we were in France last October.  My response was less than hugely enthusiastic.  In my head, spending a week torturing myself trying to do something I was certain I’d be useless at was not my idea of a holiday.  However I gradually warmed to the idea a little when I saw how keen he was on introducing me to something he really enjoys and wants to share with me.  I agreed that I’d give it a go with John assuring me that I’d have a great holiday even if I decided that I didn’t enjoy skiing.

After lots of deliberation and procrastination it got to the end of January and we finally got around to booking a holiday in the French Alps in March.  Now it was time for me to see how I was going to cope with skiing.  John suggested that it would be a good idea for me to get a lesson or two before we went away so that at least I’d have an idea of what it all involved. 

Manchester is home to the longest indoor snow slope in the UK at Chill Factore so I looked into the different lessons on offer and decided that the best option would be to go for a full day crash course, and hope that the label wouldn’t prove to be horribly prescient. 

The Friday before last was my day of reckoning and I set off for my day on the beginner slope with considerable trepidation.

Chill Factore is basically a giant fridge with some shops and eating places attached.  The main slope is 180m in length and there is also a beginners slope that is 40m long.  I got myself kitted up with skis and boots and discovered my first challenge – walking in ski boots. I moved like Robocop with constipation, shuffling along with my feet encased in heavy plastic lumps wondering what on earth I was letting myself in for. 

I was in a group of 8 beginners: myself, a guy in his late thirties, three guys in their twenties and three giggly teenage girls.  We were collected from the waiting area by our instructor Ian and we all shuffled nervously out into to ski area.

Over the course of the morning we tackled side-stepping up the slope, learning to snowplough and trying to steer.  My attempts to ski brought Chumbawumba’s Tubthumping to mind – I get knocked down, I get up again…and repeat over and over again until eventually my will to stay up overcomes my ability to fall over again.  Basically my morning mostly consisted of nerves, fear, tension, crashing and falling over.  You know you must be hopeless when 14 year old girls are trying to pick you up of the floor and reassuring you that you're doing really well!
 
I was so relieved when lunch time arrived and I was able to take my feet out of the ski boots and sit down.  My right shoulder and arm were aching from having crashed down on them so many times, the lining of one of the ski boots had rubbed my leg raw and I was feeling hot and bothered.  However I was in a much better state than one of our group who was now being driven to hospital by his friend to have a dislocated shoulder put back in – ouch!

After lunch Ian decided we’d progressed enough to move to the other side of the nursery slope which meant I had something else to come to grips with – the travelator.  Trying to get onto a conveyor belt wearing skis and leaning forwards was tricky enough, but trying to get off it at the top was even harder.  And yes, I managed to fall over on the travelator too.  I got one ski on the travelator okay but the other ski skidded on some snow on the conveyor belt, slid off to the side and got stuck in the ice wall leaving me doing the splits and falling over.

By this time the beginners slope was standing room only, with skiers and snowboarders covering every square inch of available space.  (Note to self: in future always check school holiday dates before booking skiing lessons!)  For someone who was already nervous of crashing into innocent bystanders this was a very bad thing indeed.  I stood quaking at the top of the nursery slope with unsteady snowboarders and skiers crashing in to me as I hoped that no-one would hit me hard enough to send me careering down to the bottom.

As I waited nervously at the top of the slope I glanced over towards the viewing terrace near the café.  Even at that distance I could make out a very familiar figure: John.  Of course knowing that he was watching made me even more nervous, cue one very spectacular fall, crashing backwards, smacking my head and sliding the whole way down the slope on my back at speed with my feet still in the ski bindings.  By this point I had concluded that I was definitely not a natural skier.

Even though I was now close to tears with frustration at not being able to get to grips with what everyone else seemed to grasp easily I was determined to keep going.  Up the travelator, down the slope, over and over and over.  I was terrified of going too fast, of being out of control and unable to stop, of falling over again, of crashing in to one of the many other people on the slope.  The instructor told me that I needed to relax, that all the tension in my body was what was making it so difficult for me.  Then all of sudden I realised that I’d made it all the way down the slope and back up again three times without falling over.  I started to feel a bit better and things started to get a little less difficult. 

I made it to the end of the day in one (very bruised!) piece, very aware that I find skiing hard work but pleased that I’d managed to stick at it and feeling more than a little bit excited about going on holiday.  Of course, when I could barely move on Saturday as every damn muscle in my body screamed at me I did think that maybe I should just stick to the après-ski…

Anyway, it’s twelve days and counting until we go to France.  Ooh, be afraid skiers in the Three Valleys, be very afraid – Tuppence is on her way!

Non-Valentine’s Day

I can’t stand Valentine’s Day.  I hate the overt gushing sentimentality of it all, the insincerity, the idea that all you need to do is buy some nasty tat or a bunch of flowers and give a naff card and that makes you ‘romantic’.  It’s all about consumerism and commerce, yet more companies trying to manipulate and emotionally blackmail us into spending even more money on things that no-one needs or really wants and that mean nothing. 

Fortunately John feels exactly the same way about it all.  That doesn’t mean he isn’t a complete romantic at heart, he’s actually the most thoughtful, sincere and romantic man I’ve ever met.  It’s not about grand gestures and expensive gifts, it’s all the little things that he does and says that show how much I mean to him and make my heart melt. 

Anyway, we made a conscious decision to opt out of the whole Valentine’s Day nonsense and decided to have our own special Non-Valentine’s Day instead.  We haven’t been able to spend as much time together as we’ve wanted to over the last few weeks because of John’s work schedule, but that has made the time we do have together that much more precious.  John was working all weekend so we made Sunday evening our Non-Valentine’s. 

John came round with beautiful roses to cheer me up as he knew I’d had a tough week.  Then while I relaxed on the sofa he cooked a wonderful meal that we enjoyed with a nice bottle of wine.  We talked and laughed and just had a lovely evening, enjoying every moment together.  Now that’s romance as far as I’m concerned!

I really love this man and I know that we’re going to grow old together.  He says that we’re a funny pair, but that we fit together perfectly and he is absolutely right.  He loves me just as I am, with all my insecurities, quirks and foibles.  He makes time for my family and friends, and has welcomed me into his.  He’s loving, supportive, bright, funny, strong, thoughtful and caring and I am a very lucky so-and-so to have him!

When I’m having a bad day this is a picture that always makes me smile – John and my great-niece Izzy practising hi-fives.

This man is definitely the one to keep!  (It's my niece Laura in the pic not me though!)

Green Shoots of Spring

After what turned out to be a truly rotten and stressful week for various reasons, this morning the sun was shining and the sky was blue so I took the opportunity to take my camera for a walk. 

I decided to head to one of my favourite National Trust places, Dunham Massey, which has beautiful gardens and parkland.  It's amazing the effect some fresh air, sunshine and signs of spring can have on your mood.  It helped me to put things into perspective and accept that at the moment there are an awful lot of things which are completely beyond my control and I just have to go with the flow. 

Anyway, enough of the navel-gazing and feeling sorry for myself.  I thought you might like to see some of the lovely early spring flowers I spotted.  It's good to see that the season's changing - it's been a long winter.

Time for a Cuppa and a Catch-Up

Hello again.  Is it too late to say ‘Happy New Year’ do you think? Ah well, I’ve done it now, even if it is more of a case of ‘Happy Slightly-Shopsoiled Year’ instead.

So, it’s been rather a while since I last blogged.  Life just has a way of carrying you along with the current and before you know it two months have passed by in a blur.  I’ll try to give the potted version of the last few weeks but this may take a while so let's put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea and a catch-up...

Things with John keep going from strength to strength.  I feel so ridiculously lucky to have him in my life – I’ve never felt so loved or laughed so much with someone as I do with him.  We’ve talked a lot about our future and we are in agreement that we are going to be as big an embarrassment as possible to our children and grandchildren! 

We had a good first Christmas together.  John drove down with me to pick up my mum who was staying with me.  He’s really good with my mum, and very good at stopping me from losing the plot with her. 

I spent the best part of a week with Mum and managed not to lose my temper or go crazy, which really was some achievement.  I did manage to escape for a couple of afternoons with Jenny which definitely helped both of us – families can be hard work!

On Christmas Eve we took Mum to the afternoon carol service in Liverpool Cathedral which she enjoyed.  Then we popped next-door for a few cheeky mugs of mulled wine with Iain and Jenny which went down very nicely.

We had a lovely Christmas Day at my brother’s with 18 of us for lunch (my mum, my brother and sister-in-law, my nieces and nephew, my great-nieces and great-nephews – all in all there were 13 adults and 5 children).  It was the first time John had met everyone and it was a day of complete festive chaos, but he held his own wonderfully and my family liked him.

On Boxing Day we set off for Wiltshire to spend a few days with John’s parents.  I got to meet some more of his family when his aunt and uncle came round for the day.  We went to an eccentric neighbour’s champagne party where we had never-emptying champagne glasses (I like that kind of party!) and encountered all manner of interesting characters (one of whom told me my hair smelled expensive) which made for a very entertaining afternoon. 

We also went round to see John’s best friend and his wife and their children – I got on very well with Anna and apparently I got the seal of approval (“She’s lovely, what on earth is she doing with you?!” is what she said to John when I was out of the room.)  She did suggest that her daughter would make a wonderful bridesmaid for us – woah, nothing like a bit of pressure there or anything! 

Unfortunately I started to feel a bit out of sorts when we were in Wiltshire.  I didn’t know what it was but I just didn’t feel very perky.  I put it down to being over-tired but a few days later I felt rotten and just kept feeling awful for the next fortnight with a nasty dose of flu.  On the bright side though, John looked after me really well which made being poorly a little less horrible.

We also had a plumbing nightmare.  John’s boiler decided to pack up on Christmas Eve.  With the snow and ice everywhere daytime temperatures were -12C so we drained the central heating system (or so we thought) to stop any burst pipes.  Unfortunately we returned from Wiltshire to find that several pipes had indeed burst and we ended up spending four days replumbing the kitchen and bathroom, in a house without heat in sub zero temperatures – not exactly festive fun, but things could have been worse of course!

We had a quiet but lovely New Year’s Eve.  We cooked dinner and took it next door and had a lovely evening with Iain and Jenny and plenty of wine and champagne.  John got rather tipsy (the first time I’ve seen him like that) but was very cute with it, getting all mushy and saying how I’d made 2010 a wonderful year and that we were going to have big decisions to make in 2011 but that it was going to be another fantastic year together. 

The weekend after New Year we went up to Glasgow to see John’s sister, her husband and their little girl Sophie.  I was still getting over the flu so I wasn’t at my best, but it was good to get to meet them all.  I don’t know what his sister thought of me but I seemed to be a hit with Sophie who was getting me to read to her, telling me she like my earrings and my scarf and my handbag and telling me that I was John’s best friend!  I got to see a different side to John as well – he absolutely adores his niece and watching him playing with her and reading to her all weekend was lovely to see.  He is going to make a great dad one day.

The last couple of weekends have been a bit of a damp squib with John having to work through them to try and get projects completed.  We did get out to the cinema on Friday night (Tron: Legacy, much better than expected) but I ended up suffering from food poisoning on Saturday thanks to the dodgy Chinese restaurant we went to before the film.  I broke my cardinal rule, never eat from an all-day-buffet, and paid the price by spending Saturday getting too well acquainted with John’s toilet!

The miserable January weather and dark mornings are pretty grim, but we’ve got something good to look forward to in March – we’re off skiing (or will be when we get it booked)!  John is an experienced skier but this will be my first time (hmm, it’s a long time since I’ve been able to call myself a virgin) and I don’t quite know what to expect.  I’m going to have a few lessons at the indoor ski slope in Manchester, Chill Factore, and see how I get on.  John reckons that I’m going to really enjoy it – I hope he’s right! 

What else do I have to report?  Well I’ve been recruited as a Governor by another school, so I’m now serving on two governing bodies which is keeping me occupied!  The second school is the primary school just round the corner from my house - it’s the school Millie will eventually go to so Iain and Jenny are very pleased that I’m involved!

Work is fairly busy with far too many early starts at the moment – 7am is no time to be in the office!  Things are okay, although there is more change on the horizon as we will be merging with our sister company in a few months time.  I’m not worrying about it though – what will be, will be and all that.

I’m still going riding every week and continuing to really enjoy it.  I’m getting more confident with jumping and find it difficult to believe that it’s only 18 months since I had my first riding lesson!

I think that’s pretty much everything brought up to date. All-in-all life is pretty damn good in Tuppence-ville.  How are things with you?

Autumn Antics

So, where was I?  Ah yes, I was about to fill you in on what happened when we got back from holiday.  Well quite a bit really, I guess I’d better start at the beginning.

Things with John passed another milestone the weekend we came back from France.  I hadn’t had chance to visit my mum in a few months and I’d been getting a nice dose of manipulation with a side order of emotional blackmail for her for several weeks.  John was well aware that Mum was pressuring me to go down and visit, so he suggested that we go together to take some of the pressure of me (and satisfy Mum’s curiosity about him).

I called Mum on the Saturday to let her know I’d be driving down on Sunday for the day.  I didn't tell Mum John was coming with me so that he still had the option to change his mind, hence it was a bit of a surprise for my mum when we turned up on the doorstep together.  Anyway, we went out for a very nice belated birthday lunch.  John made a very favourable impression indeed and he didn't run away screaming so it was all good. Mum certainly approved of him - she's already bought him a tie as one of his Christmas presents.  You know you've made it into the good books when my mum adds you to her Christmas present list.

A couple of weeks later we hit a potentially sticky patch when John had an interview for a job down in Gloucester.  He had spoken to me before he even applied for the post and confessed that he’d had to think long and hard about whether he wanted to consider the possibility of moving when things with us were going so well.  He asked for my support so of course I gave it.  When he was invited for interview I started to worry inwardly while being as upbeat, supportive and enthusiastic as possible.

The interview went well and I found myself torn between what I wanted for him and what I wanted for me.  I wanted them to offer him the job because I knew he'd enjoy it, he'd be very good at it and it would be good for his career, but the idea of him moving away just made me feel ill (after all I’ve been there, done that with a long distance relationship that ends up going nowhere).  I didn’t know what would happen if he got the job, but I did know that I didn’t want him to end up turning it down because of us.  I wouldn’t want him to turn round one day and end up resenting me for getting in the way of his career.

I was completely caught off guard when John asked me if I was worried about what could happen if he got the job.  He confessed that he was thinking about it a lot and would do whatever it took for things to work for us, he didn’t want to lose me.  He also said how much he appreciated how supportive I was and how it meant an awful lot to him.  I admitted that I was worried, but that it was more important to me that he was happy and that I didn’t want to hold him back.

In the end John didn’t get the job, and while that was good news for me I felt awful for him.  He was really disappointed about it, particularly because they offered the job to one of his team, a graduate trainee that John had trained up and mentored.  Ouch, talk about adding insult to injury!  (I did point out that the guy would have been younger, cheaper and easier for the company to mould in their image, plus he comes from that area of the country so he can move back home and they save a fortune by not paying relocation expenses.) 

Even though he was disappointed, I think that there was a reason why this had worked out this way, that this isn’t the job meant for him and that something fantastic is just round the corner that is right for him.  I’m not a fatalist or someone who thinks everything is predestined, but I really do believe that some things are meant to be and some things just aren’t. 

We’ve been together for over six months now, and every day things between us grow stronger.  I have never had a relationship like this.  We know that this is the real deal for both of us - we've talked about marriage, having kids and growing old together and I really can see myself doing that with him.  I have never been as happy and content as I am now – this is something that was meant to be.

It's crazy when I think about how awful things were and how unhappy I was two years ago, and how I now have a great life and I'm really happy (except for when the alarm goes off on Monday morning of course!)  It's not all sunshine and roses in my life - work is pretty hardgoing at the moment - but there is plenty of good stuff to balance out the not-so-good stuff.

This weekend was our first trip down to visit his parents together as it was his mum's birthday on Saturday.  Fortunately my first time staying with my outlaws went very well!  I was a good house guest and took presents with me - home made chutney, a bottle of wine and a houseplant - and I think that his mum and dad approve of me.  His mum showed me lots of baby photos - oh he was a cutie! - including the obligatory 'naked-in-the-bath' snaps and I found out what his mum's pet name was for him when he was little (which of course I will be using against him!)  All in all it was a very good weekend.

Bonne Vacances en France!

Wow, October has been a busy month!  Work has been bedlam for the last few weeks and it doesn't look as if it's going to ease off until Christmas.  Ah well, better to be employed and busy than the alternative especially in the current climate.  If I think back to when I was made redundant last year I remember how desperate I was for a job so that reminds me to count myself lucky to have one now and to really feel for those who've lost theirs.

Anyway, I have rather a lot to bring you up to date on so I think I'd better start at the beginning of the month and start with my birthday and holiday.

I didn't exactly start my birthday filled with sunshine, roses and happy smiles.  We were booked on a 6.50am flight to Toulouse which meant I had to be up at 4.30am to get ready and get to the airport.  I was not filled with birthday joy at that time of the morning, believe me! 

The flight was uneventful, apart from the woman seated in front of us who was sneezing and spluttering in every direction and determined to share her germs with as many people as possible.  Yes you guessed correctly, a few days later I was the lucky winner of her bug - ah the delights of recycled cabin air!

We had a fantastic time in France - the weather was lovely (sunny and around 25C pretty much all week), we enjoyed lots of lovely food and wine, and we saw a fair bit of the Languedoc Rousillion region and clocked up 1000km over the week.

We landed in Toulouse mid-morning on the Friday, picked up our hire car (a Citroen C3 - well it had to be French I guess) and drove the country roads down to Carcassonne, stopping in Mirepoix for the afternoon. 

Mirepoix was lovely.  It's a beautiful little medieval market town where we spent a very relaxing afternoon, enjoying cassoulet, wandering around the town and cathedral and treating ourselves to some very tasty patisserie goodies (well, it was my birthday after all!)

After a wonderful birthday afternoon in Mirepoix we drove on to the medieval walled city of Carcassone where we spent two nights.  (The hotel was very nice and well located just outside the city walls, so if you're looking for somewhere to stay in the area I can certainly recommend it.) 

Saturday was spent exploring Carcassonne.  If you've read Kate Mosse's novel Labyrinth then this will be a must-see place for you. 

Leaving Carcassonne on Sunday we went on a chateaux trail through the mountains and saw the Cathar castles of Puilaurens and Perpeyteuse.  These places are just hewn out of the mountains - it's incredible to imagine how they must have been built and what day-to-day life in them must have been like during the persecution of the Cathars.

When we were castled-out and full of Languedoc and Cathar history we headed along the winding mountain roads and on to Perpignan for the night.  Next day we drove along the Mediterranean coast to Collioure, a favourite haunt of the Fauvist artists.  Collioure was a very picturesque harbour town, with pastel coloured houses and shops lining the streets.

From there we went to Prades, a very pretty market town at the foot of the Pyrennees.   We stayed in the most gorgeous former tannery which has been beautifully converted to guest bedrooms and a gite by the owners Marie-Claire and Oliver.   Not only did we have a lovely room, as the only guests we were lucky enough to have sole use of the heated outdoor swimming pool and hot tub, as well as the steam room and sauna in the health suite.  At 11pm on a warm, starlit evening we were relaxing in the pool and hot-tub, watching bats fly overhead and living the dream! 

This was definitely our favourite stop and we could have easily stayed there all week, but it was time to move on so after spending the morning in Prades wandering round the market we set off on our travels again.  The journey through the Pyrennees was beautiful but I soon discovered I really don't like twisty mountain roads!  It felt like a very long drive indeed through the mountains back to Mirepoix where we spent the night in the 14th century Maison des Consuls.

By this time my lurgy had kicked in with a vengeance and I was feeling pretty grotty but I was determined not to let it spoil our holiday so I kept going. 

We spent the last two nights of our holiday in Toulouse.  On Wednesday we went on a visit to the Airbus factory to see the A380 assembly line (that was a special little visit for my engine geek boyfriend, I just knew he'd like to go look at stuff being made) and then headed out to the town of Albi, home to Toulouse Lautrec.

Our last day was spent just wandering around Toulouse in the glorious sunshine, a good end to a fantastic week.

Our first holiday together turned out to be memorable for all the right reasons.  The week showed how good we really are together, we just fit like jigsaw pieces.  Over the course of that week we grew even closer to each other and realised how lucky we are to have each other.

We saw such a lot of both the Languedoc and Rousillion during the week, but there is still so much in the area that we want to see that I know we'll be returning again and again. 

So what has happened since we got home from holiday?  Hmm, quite a bit, but I think I'll tell you about that another day.